Clean
by KittyGirl17
Summary: There, standing before her with a sad smile on his face, was Neal. "You're here for him," he said with his arms crossed and his gaze piercing through her like two twin bullets. "You're here for Hook."


It hurt. Emma hadn't felt this kind of pain in a long time—more than a decade, in fact. She had been so incredibly angry at Neal when he'd left her to fend for herself in the prison cell _he_ deserved to be in. Of course, her initial anger had faded and the hurt set in. Her heart had been shattered and it took her years to mold it back together.

And then Neal had the nerve to waltz back into her life and bring up long-buried feelings. She had worked so hard to build that protective wall around her and he'd found the weakness in it before he had spoken no more than one word to her.

 _Damn him_ , she cursed silently as she dropped the dirt onto the casket with the shovel. She had already cried out all of the tears she was willing to give him, but a fresh wave threatened to fall as she glanced at Henry, who had no clue who this man was.

Emma blinked and she realized that she was finally free. Her life after Neal was spent running away from the memories they made together. Now she could stop running. There was nothing left to run from.

Days later, Emma found herself reeling from the kiss she shared with Killian Jones. _Captain Hook_. She thoroughly enjoyed herself, but some small part of her felt guilty. Her she was, so soon after Neal's death, kissing another man.

Only when she kissed him for the second time was she able to force the guilt away. Neal was gone and he wasn't coming back. He would forever be her past, but she had to focus on the future and she sure as hell wasn't going to put her life on pause to grieve like the little princess she wasn't. She had done her grieving in private when she wasn't trying to rectify the Zelena situation.

So, with her resolve standing strong, she pulled away to smile at Captain Hook. _Killian Jones_. Her future.

Months later, her past came back to haunt her. There, standing before her with a sad smile on his face, was Neal. "You're here for him," he said with his arms crossed and his gaze piercing through her like two twin bullets. "You're here for Hook."

Emma was mentally beating herself over the head. She had been insane not to realize that she would see Neal in the Underworld. Her focus had been entirely on Killian when she'd made the decision and it wasn't until now that she realized just how rash her decision was. "Yes," she told him, trying to keep her voice from cracking.

Neal's smile transformed into a grin, though it didn't reach his eyes. "He told me you were together."

All Emma could do was nod at that. "You've seen him?" she asked hopefully.

"The docks," Neal supplied as if it should have been obvious. "He spends most of his time there. I see him from time to time."

Emma felt the breath whoosh from her lungs and she felt her legs quivering under the weight of her. He was in the Underworld. After searching for him for days, she was beginning to wonder if he was in the Underworld at all. She met Neal's knowing expression. "Thank you," she whispered just loud enough for him to hear her.

Neal nodded. "Of course."

Emma offered him an awkward half-smile and she turned to leave. Made it to the door before he called out to her. With her hand on the doorknob, she looked back at him over her shoulder.

"I'm not angry at you, you know," Neal told her earnestly and Emma knew that he was telling the truth. "He's much better for you than I ever was."

A weight she hadn't even known she'd been carrying was lifted from her shoulders and she breathed a sigh. "Thank you," she repeated. Without a glance back, she left the room. She had thought she was free when Neal had died. Now, she felt whole, untainted by guilt and loss. She was clean.

Years later, when Emma watched Henry kiss his new bride, Violet, she grinned and took Killian's hand. Their daughter bounced excitedly between them and she raced to Henry as soon as the two separated. Henry caught his little sister in a big, bear hug and then swung her around as she giggled uncontrollably. Emma laughed and she leaned into Killian's side, seeing not for the first time how much Henry looked like Neal. The name didn't make her frown anymore. She had long ago come to terms with the absence of her first love. She was perfectly content with the life she had forged since then. Her happy ending.


End file.
